When Your Mind Gets Changed For You

There are few regrets worse than letting yourself be talked out of a bold and game changing move. I have had my mind changed for me more times than I care to admit.

Maybe you know this story:

You’ve made a decision to take bold action and you’re finally going to start your own business and strike out on your own. You considered all the risks and you feel energized about the adventure ahead of you.

That is until your loved ones or your mentor hear about your exciting news.

It only takes half a minute for their concern and wise advice to make you question your resolve. Maybe a recession is a bad time to quit your comfortable job and take on a small business. Maybe you should wait until a better economy or until you’ve saved more money.

Suddenly your fire is extinguished and you feel as deflated as a junk yard tire.

How did this happen?

Time to stop and take stock of yourself: what exactly was it about their reaction that made you instantly doubt yourself?

Was it the fact that they brought up important logistical challenges that you never even considered and that have to be worked out before you can move ahead? If that’s the case, thank them and get your act together.

But what if your loving advice-givers only inundated you with challenges you have already accounted for, or worse yet, they were only able to allude to vague dangers and obstacles looming in your future? In the face of these weak arguments, why are you so willing to question your own judgment?

Is it possible that what has you running scared isn’t the prospect of failure but the specter of your loved ones’ disapproval?

Only very recently have I fully understood the price of trying to please others. I subjugated my desires, I caved in and I backtracked on my most personal decisions, not because I was faced with some great and impossible ordeal but because I was afraid of disappointing the people I love by disregarding their warnings and their kind wishes for my well-being.

What a blow this is to confidence. What a loss of freedom to hand over your choices to others.

Despite the very real risks I might have run, I deeply regret each and every bold action that I shied away from and all the uncharted paths I might have run.

After a chain of lost decisions turned my world gray, I started blaming the people that had advised me to be timid for cheating me out of adventure. I realize now that I was wrong to blame others when I am a grown woman with my own mind. If I had been willing to pull on my big-girl panties, mere advice wouldn’t have stopped me from chasing a brightly coloured life.

Make your decisions in consideration of wise council but don’t conform to the fears of others for acceptance’s sake. Regret will build into resentment and it won’t take long to erode your relationships and your self-respect.

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